Losing Sight of Who We Are

I watch American Idol for the moments when destiny peeks its head into reality to give us a glimpse of what it’s like to use our gifts for God’s glory. One of those moments emerged during the April 19th results show when alternative rocker Colton Dixon, after being told that he had the lowest number of votes, took center stage to belt out one last tune. Before he did, the 20-year-old from Tennessee expressed remorse over not accepting a negative critique the night before.

“I need to apologize. I wasn’t myself last night and I get it,” Colton told the judges. “And I appreciate what you told me … I’ll take that when I’m making a record.”

“You’ll make many records,” judge Jennifer Lopez corrected.

“Colton Dixon: a class act,” Ryan Seacrest added as a video showing the contestant’s Idol journey appeared onscreen.

I want to finish that well. To admit my shortcomings and send a message that life doesn’t have to be perfect … and neither do you and I. Sometimes I think we spend so much energy covering up our mistakes: there’s no time left to learn from them.

What Colton learned (and shared with viewers during a post-performance interview) was that he had forgotten where he came from. “I wanted to end tonight the way I started it,” the singer explained. “I felt like I strayed last night,and I hate that I did but I was ready to bring it back and bring my focus back.”

As a life coach, I want everyone to live with purpose and love their lives. We do neither when we say that our heart is in one place and spend all of our time in another. Colton learned this lesson the hard way when he lost part of his fan base after performing a Lady Gaga song onstage despite professing a desire to be a Christian singer. The contradiction reminds me of something that one of my daughters said the other day while we were playing ping-pong.

“Mom, will you still love me if I decide to be an atheist?”

“My love for you is unconditional,” I said. “Why do you ask?”

“Because I don’t like it when hypocrite Christians act like God only loves them.”

How easy it is for us, like Colton, to forget who we are and where we come from. The problem with believing one way and behaving another is that we run the risk of alienating the very people God has called us to serve. I don’t want to be the reason someone loses faith in me or my creator. Colton wasn’t going to be either when he dropped to his knees on stage to give his final performance to God.

“I wasn’t singing for [the judges]. I wasn’t singing for my family or anyone in the audience. I wasn’t singing for anyone at home.” Colton explained after he had finished. “That song was between me and my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. … I wanted to end it the way I started it and the way I told myself I would do this competition, and I’m glad I got the opportunity.”^1

I have to believe that God was, too, because, although we may lose sight of who we are, He never does. And even the lowest of lows can be turned into a high when we resolve to finish well.

Colton Dixon Singing “Everything”

^1 http://blog.zap2it.com

The Reality of Remorse

I recently read something on guilt that I wanted to 1) commit to memory and 2) share with all of you. Since posting the information to my blog helps me to accomplish both objectives, this week’s update is more about learning than discerning. My hope is that the former will lead to the latter as you open your divine textbook and meditate on these words from 2 Corinthians chapter 7 verse 10:

“Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.”

I never understood the difference between the two kinds of sorrow mentioned in this verse until I read the book Boundaries with Teens by Dr. John Townsend. According to the author, the Godly sorrow that the apostle Paul was referring to is remorse and worldly sorrow is guilt. (see p. 40)

Townsend went on to say that guilt (i.e., the feeling of self-condemnation over doing something that hurts another person) is not a helpful emotion because it is centered on our failure instead of the other person’s pain. Remorse, in contrast, is a solution-oriented approach that frees us to be sad and to undo the damage that we have done.

Knowing that guilt is never a good substitute for letting go makes me wonder: Why do some people hold onto it with fists so full of self-condemnation that they will never get a grip on grace?

Life is too short to live with regret so let’s not waste another minute on unproductive thoughts. Instead, the next time we are tempted to nail ourselves to a cross of condemnation, let’s remember that those who know Jesus have no right to take away from what he did to make sure that every sinner can be redeemed.

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

Romans 8:1